Because We Care: The Book of Ruth

Those are the best three words I ever heard in my life from University on 2/2/17. Yes, a little #tbt to a time where,to my surprise, would be my last days in Philadelphia.

The person who said those three words was someone who I met since the first semester of college. Is that person the “Naomi” in my life?
(Naomi was the mother-in-law to Ruth)

What about my One True Boaz? Well, not yet. Praying for a Family Redeemer.

I know I cursed many times in my archived posts while saying names, which I know people are not appreciative of, but, here’s the thing, I am sorry (pasensya na!)

I do miss the various colours of Fall! This year will be green 😀

Going back to 2/2/17

When I was back in a location that I was in 2016, I messaged my Home Economics teacher from 11th grade. The teacher mentioned the Book of Ruth.

I honestly still do not know why the teacher sent me to the Book of Ruth, but I love the story. What a great story about God’s blessings!

Back to November 2017.
I have a heavy heart this week with so many prayer filled news happened this week. Praying God will provide many blessings in everyone’s life.

Kahit maraming kong dinaanan sa University, babalik ako sa University, praying.

You can probably tell I praying many times throughout each day.
Why?
Because that is what keeps me going in life.
I wouldn’t have gone halfway around the world for college if it wasn’t for God’s Word and prayer.

I see why I was not able to make it into certain organizations throughout college, which did make me cry, but they ultimately led to recovery back home to be there for the seastar with the many life changing events that happened to my immediate family.

I want to thank the people who helped me and showed me that I was never lost at University in the first place. I pray for them daily as well.

2016 was filled with so many stories linked together that it became just one big web. I know it is hard to comprehend, but I would not have survived without God’s Word and many crying prayers up in Heaven.

Veteran’s day is this weekend. Thank you for your service.

Soundtrip:

“Perfect” by Ed Sheeran (The music video just released. Makes me miss the snow!)

“What If’s” by Kane Brown ft. Lauren Alaina (this has been he main soudtrip for two weeks)

This is God’s Exploration
Ruth 2:10

Peace, Love, Hugs

BeyaSays09 (I changed the spelling of my nickname)

IG: Beyaisabelsays09


My first two blog posts:

https://beatravels.wordpress.com

https://beyatravels.wordpress.com

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Happy being Content: Psalm 139

I believe how amazing that I have this chapter of my daily devotional on this day. I’m amazed how The Lord has a plan for a better time and a better place in life. I lost all pag-asa (hope) last year. I honestly did not know what to do with life since I was in my lowest point of depression.

This time was where I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder, which is why I am also saying my story to the public to share my devotional about God’s love and care.

Well, my test with positivity came when I figured out about my hurt story in 2016  on 1/4/2017. After that realization, my true test in God happened and discovered that prayer does do marvelous things.

I realized that I was never alone in my journey with college in January 2017. I’m thankful for the people that helped me throughout my darkest hours. Thank you for the support and care for this Filipina from Guam.

Don’t get me wrong… I ❤ the City of Brotherly L.O.V.E., but life happens and the real world comes at me. Coming to Philly at 18 was a whole new world. Yes, I lived in Philly as a toddler, and visited many times throughout the years, but everything felt so fresh. I ❤ the opportunities and events that started literally the first month of college in 2015.  I was able to work two jobs at the end of 2016. YAY! #hopeinthelord

What I am trying to say that The Lord secretly showed me that I needed to take 2017 off from school. Relax. Clear my head. Explore different places like Laguna Batangas and El Nido, Palawan, Philippines while enjoying Guam in a whole different level without being in school.

I am healing Physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.

You want to know why I am writing this post?

Well, I wanted to share how I am telling my depressive side of this year to be content. My heart was filled with God's love , which made my whole January and February decisions even more soothing since I had people help me.

Okay, I keep telling myself at every minute to be content. Why?

Because when I was 18 I told myself that I did not want to be a wallflower anymore. I wanted to have a big group of friends, get to know people, show people the island of Guam to Blue and Gold University and have the college life that others had… Guess what? I learned that real life did not happen the way I wanted it to be, which lead to my homesickness and depression and racing thoughts my first semester of college… Then… 2016 happened with my unaware manic episode then my depression episode last Fall. My denial mania happened Spring 2017 with a middle in my mood of being depressed and being manic. Does that makes sense?

Speaking of Fall!

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First Pic: Fall 2015 with my first time in a pumpkin patch in New Jersey

Second Pic: Fall in Philadelphia 2016

Third Pic: Fall on Guam. I get to wear summer clothes and zorries this Fall. So many delish Fall and pumpkin treats around island.


Psalm 139

I can’t believe I have been reading the Book of Psalms for 139 days. amazing!I remember memorizing the chapter during my Senior year of HS in AP Psychology.

I remember a peer and Blue and Gold University having Psalm 139:4 on their IG info box. I was amazed with the content of this specific verse.

Psalm 139:14

I wanted to write that on the blog because God knows why my body shape is the way it is. I was born to, how do I say this, have curves. I gained so much weight when I was in the motherland this year that my insecurities increased, but I know that I was given this figure for a reason.

Jealousy

Oh. this one and not being content go hand in hand with my life. I have also learned that this is MY journey in life. Everyone has their own struggles and journeys in life that comparison and jealousy is not worth it. It’s easy for me to compare myself and get jealous of my peers going to school and many of them being on their third year of college. I had to accept that I won’t be graduating in 2019 after four years of college. Nope. God had a better plan.

I honestly pray for everyone that I have encountered in my life. I also pray for people that read my blog as a way to spread the Word of God. Yes, I know I had many curse words in my February posts, which I deleted, but I feel like I am a better person than I was back in February 2017 with leaving Philadelphia for my recovery.

I’ll write to you soon!

Peace, Love, Smile

-BeayaSays09

Soundtrip:
“Learn To Let Go” -Kesha
“In Case You Didn’t Know”- Brett Young Cover by Maoli
this cover is played on the radio here on Guam.
“God, Your Mama and Me” -Florida Georgia Line ft. Backstreet Boys
The music video is just #relationshipgoals #mayforeverba?

emote emote pag may time yung puso ko

Many more posts to come!

  I won’t be using these Social Medias until 2018:

Fb (the last name needs to be changed)

IG: again, the profile name needs to be changed

Snapchat!: I miss the filters

Twitter: HHHEEEYYYYY

My first two blog posts:

https://beatravels.wordpress.com

https://beyatravels.wordpress.com

Youtube:

Vlogs:Bea Hernandez Arcilla

Main: BeaSays09

I also am posting an email address for suggestions of future blog posts:

beasays09@gmail.com

 

 

Trust In The Lord: A Spiritual Healing

“With all Thine Heart. And Lean not into thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge and HE shall direct thy paths.”    -Proverbs 3:5-6

AKA my life verse since I was fourteen.

I recently went to the coffee shop at the school I grew up in and graduated from with a lei.

Why is that school so significant?

Well, I held on to all the mentors and peers I grew up with when i needed people who I grew up with during good and terrifying jobs. Those people that can help me clear my mind while having Bible verses to read and telling me their prayers for this recovery.

Oh MY WORD! I remember holding on to my senior hoodies while I was in need of a reminder and a safe haven for me to remember the school and reasons why I am in University halfway around the world.

Why?

That school became my second home when I moved to Guam when I was 12. The Lord knew I needed an awesome solid foundation for God’s word. I was just in my second year of being depressed that I had roller coaster rides of depression internally why being okay externally. Situations in my real home were not the best growing up.

That’s why I am speaking up with depression and bipolar because internal struggles are so hard to go by alone and without anyone knowing. It was a hazard with me being alone especially when I had a single room in the dorms my Sophomore year of University. I remember just crying so much and praying to the Lord, “why?”

Bakit nag yayare to saakin?

That’s why when rugby season ended last Fall, I fell. Actually, this weekend would’ve been a full year since I was calling my Lolo (grandfather) and blaming all my downfalls on him. That was the hardest cry I EVER heard in my life.

the 25th of October 2017 is going to be a full year since I went to the hospital in Philadelphia. ALONE. Oh. that was so scary that I did not know how to tell my family. The Lord has plans for everything that my family knew like three days after being admitted. I just don’t know how to trust people who felt so knew yet were blood related to me. Does that make sense?

“Why?” Those were the racing thoughts I had when I was in school starting April 2016 were hard. More so when Sophomore year 2016 started, I did not what to do with those racing thoughts of scenarios all day long. I remember crying in my dorm room almost everyday after classes. It’s true.

Well, moving along October 2017… I’m in a better state mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m IN L.O.V.E. with the City of Brotherly LOVE called Philadelphia. The next post will be a special since the pics are gonna be cute.

Okay. I rabbit trailed a bit there. I talk about the school I grew up in on Guam is because I can never leave or forget the place. Why? Well, daily errands happen, which I am not complaining about. I guess it became a system this Fall.
It’s interesting since I was there in the school’s coffee shop with a great family mentor. The family friend texted me Proverbs 3:5-6. That person did not know that was my life verse until I texted that.

I think The Lord knew that I needed a reminder about Proverbs 3:5-6 since I have been thinking about 2016 so many times with the events of January through June 2017, which were times where my whole being was questioning God’s care in this world.

Going back to the school.
I am meeting with mentors that I grew up with during this time of healing and Gap Year at the same time.

Because

Although I was going to mass on Sundays back in Philly, I was internally not connected spiritually. Gets? I was physically there, but I definitely was there to make a show that I go to church.

When January 31 happened, I asked God why I had to get hurt twice in 2016 at 18. Now my 19 year old self is trying to stand up for herself to show people that she cannot be mistreated by chicbwois ever again no matter what age they are. my WHOLE body was shaking on those steps that I prayed to God and asked Guardian Angels about how come the events of 2015- early 2017 happened. I was thinking about the pressure Jesus had at the Garden of Gethsemane. That was the only comparison I had in mind. I was so scared, but I knew I had support because of my two blog post, well, one I deleted, but the one that stayed shared my WHOLE secret of 2016… dark,dark secrets.

Then when February 1, 2017 came, a professor was asking me why I am wearing pooka shell lei around school. Well, I did not tell the class the situation that happened the day before out loud but they knew through social media. I told them that a lei is a tradition in many places around the world as a congrats for accomplishing an amazing milestone (s). Also, I wore my Senior hoodie that I needed to wear as a reminder of why I told my hurt story. Then the evening came of people laughing at me when I was shaking after… that’s a LONG story to the point I couldn’t go to classes the next day since my head was just… with pain I couldn’t control.

Fast forward, again to October 2017, as I was in the coffee shop, I reflected on how the school was truly a foundation of my grow in trusting and knowing and remember God never leaves us nor forsakes us. Vow.

I learned that prayer does marvelous things.

I learned that the school will always be a part of me that I can never get away from with mentors and daily errands.

I learned that the peers I grew up with are becoming amazing men and women in this world. I pray for them on the daily.

I learned that my first love with always be with God’s Word.

Peace, Love, Smile

-BeaSays09

Painting Sesh: A Loving Nightmare Before Christmas

with Canvas by Fawn located in the Acanta Mall in Tumon on October 7, 2017

Happy Friday the Thirteenth!

I’m so glad Clara came with me. The art sesh started at 7 PM. Clara and I got the 11X14 canvas as a start for our first try of Canvas by Fawn

The art sesh was so much fun. We learned new techniques with painting.

 

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Artwork by Fawn with the prices of the blank canvases. IMG_9293

 

Her art studio is ah-mazing! Honestly, just seeing all the different medium pieces displayed all across the studio.

Each art sesh allows a maximum of fifteen seats. The session is also a sip and paint session with a byob and byof.  Due to our age, Clara and I had non-alcoholic drinks while still having fun painting.

Fawn is also a patient and sweet instructor and helps all of enthusiastic painter enjoy their time.

Now, Fawn posts the afternoon or evening painting events on her fb page.

Canvas by Fawn contacts:

email: canvasbyfawn@gmail.com

IG:canvas.byfawn

FB: Canvas.byfawn

http://www.society6.com/fawnnadine

Soundtrip: 

I LOVE the song “Reggaeton lento (bailemos)” remix from CNCO ft. Little Mix

Peace, Love, Smile

-BeyaSays09

I won’t be using these Social Medias until 2018:

Fb (the last name needs to be changed)

IG: again, the profile name needs to be changed

Snapchat!: I miss the filters

Twitter: HHHEEEYYYYY

My first two blog posts:

https://beatravels.wordpress.com

https://beyatravels.wordpress.com

Youtube:

Vlogs:Bea Hernandez Arcilla

Main: BeaSays09

I also am posting an email address for suggestions of future blog posts:

beasays09@gmail.com

Pray For Your Guardian Angels Since They Are…..

“Somewhere Over The Rainbow” from Wizard of Oz

The Fam is blessed to have another guardian angel in 2017.  We miss you three very deeply. God knows guardian angels are with us no matter what.

 

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I saw this beautiful rainbow taken in two shots at the Dusit Thani Guam. I love the Dusit Thani since it reminds me of my 18 semi- debut (coming-of-age celebration for lady turning 18 in the Philippines).

 

Speaking of birthdays… I believe one special family member of the fam has a birthday this week. Can’t wait to FaceTime soon. You are loved my all unconditionally.  Thank you for each and every one of you.

 

Also, no matter what happens to the family, I still love you all no matter what. I know I could say this through like fb messenger, but I am not using fb at the moment, maybe through iMessage, but technical difficulties. I know. Super complicated ako.  I found some #tb pics from my usb back in like 2012 and 2013 and child pics as well.

To my surprise, a cover of  “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” from The Piano Guys played during the hot yoga session I attended in East Hagatna. I wanted to tear up during the yoga. sesh.

 

” Angel of God, my Guardian dear. To whom its love commits me here. Ever this day be at my side to light and guard to rule and guide. Amen.”

I memorized the prayer since like I could remember. Hebrews 1:14 reminds me of this prayer.

 

“For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways,” reads Psalm 91:11.
Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/inspiration/angels/6-scriptures-that-support-the-existence-of-guardian-angels.aspx?p=4#pSs6VvAfl8KjbCd4.99

 

Why do guardian angels mean so much to me? Well, I’ll write about that in another post.

I’ll write to you soon!

Peace, Love, Smile

-BeaSays09

I won’t be using these Social Medias until 2018:

Fb (the last name needs to be changed)

IG: again, the profile name needs to be changed

Snapchat!: I miss the filters

Twitter: HHHEEEYYYYY

My first two blog posts:

https://beatravels.wordpress.com

https://beyatravels.wordpress.com

Youtube:

Vlogs:Bea Hernandez Arcilla

Main: BeaSays09

I also am posting an email address for suggestions of future blog posts:

beasays09@gmail.com

 

 

#MyTipsForMentalHealth

I wish I was on Twitter to post these tips, but I will still write my personal tips that I have learned over the years from my experience with mental health.

1. Be good to yourself.

2. Sleep for about 8 hours a night is important.

3. Take the Rx prescribed by your psychiatrist.

4. Explore the world in little pieces to cure boredom.

5. Exercise is also good medicine.

6. Pray

7. Do not be afraid to seek help for coping skills.

8. Let family and friends know about what you’re going through. They will understand.

9. What happens behind close doors matters.

10. Smile (lage)  no matter what 😀

I didn’t realize I posted this post the day before World Mental Health Day October 20,2017

Why am I writing about this?

I’ve dealt with depressive stages since I was 10 years old  Although, I was clinically diagnosed with depression at 15 in 2012 while I was clinically diagnosed with bipolar at 19 in 2016. Yes, I am in a better mental state now than I was earlier this year. vow.

I am also writing this post to have people understand me better with the things that happened to me the past two years of adulthood. This post is also a way for  me to understand myself from Spring 2016 (unaware of being in mania), Fall 2016 (diagnosed with bipolar disorder 1) and Spring 2017 (in denial of being manic). There are so many weeks where I changed my personality that people were just pissed off at me, which honestly became everyone around me. I looked  like everyone else on the outside, but  was depressed and had racing thoughts.

I am also not embarrased to tell those reading my blog and close family and friends about my mental health. I am aware that people will/have/are shamed (-ing) me for displaying my mental illness in a public setting.

I want this format to be a blog to connect with other people about various topics happening in the past and years to come.

Also, for me, living with mental illness doesn’t define me, but a lifestyle that I have to maintain through medication and therapy with also support from family and friends since I have noticed it is emotionally stressful and exhausting for many of them. It’s true.  I never asked for any of the drama that happened from the past.

Thank you for that “relative” that called me “mental” for making me S.T.R.O.N.G.E.R.

Inspiration for this post:

http://www.refinery29.com/amp/2017/09/173633/my-tips-for-mental-health-hashtag

I love what this website said about mental health: 

https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/Living-with-a-Mental-Health-Condition

https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/Teens-and-Young-Adults

 

PS. I wasn’t able to write on 9/15/17 since the topic will be written in a future post.

I’ll write to you soon!

Peace, Love, Smile

-BeaSays09

You are NEVER alone

I won’t be using these Social Medias until 2018:

Fb (the last name needs to be changed)

IG: again, the profile name needs to be changed

Snapchat!: I miss the filters

Twitter: HHHEEEYYYYY

My first two blog posts:

https://beatravels.wordpress.com

https://beyatravels.wordpress.com

Youtube:

Vlogs:Bea Hernandez Arcilla

Main: BeaSays09

I also am posting an email address for suggestions of future blog posts:

beasays09@gmail.com

 

Inspiration For The Key: Thank You For The Music :D

aka BeaSays09’s life!!! lolz I’m like tearing up just writing this post.

Music definitely got me through very rough times throughout my life. Music is also a form of therapy for me.

Also, music helped my go through my recovery in the Philippines this year. Those were times where my faith in God grew even stronger.

Although I’m not the best singer/clarinet player since 7th grade, I still persevered through with passion. 😀 I also was able to participate in choir during my first semester of college, but I wasn’t able to continue the next few semesters due to my schedule.

I want to thank everybody that has helped me the past 20 years on this life through movies, tv shows, music, art, dance, etc since you all really helped me grow IN love with life.

What exactly is “The Key”?

Well, it’s my whole life basically. Actually, it wasn’t until January 29,2017 where I followed my heart for passion and creativity. That was one of the hardest decisions I made in my entire life since I let my whole being follow my heart, which I did guard. How? Through prayer and music!

People were like, “Bea, your life is like a Disney movie or a musical!” Well, I  like to think of my life as colourful.

Now, time to say: Thank YOU for the Music 😀 Have any of you heard of Abba? I know I did as a baby. Yes. So young. I’ll write about more about the first ever band that I loved in another post.

I guess I am getting nostalgia since I do miss singing on stage with a group or being in band. I hope to sing “Thank You For The Music” sometime in my life. 😀

Music also is helping me through this recovery back on Guam. I remember a beshie sharing to me a song, which in on my fb messenger,  to help with my recovery. I cried. Thank  you for the help.

Speaking of music… have you heard Sam Smith’s new song “Too Good At Goodbyes”?

#emoteemotepagmaytime

This is my 39th post on the blog! Oh my word!

Verses about music (I couldn’t pick jut one. All of them are great) :

http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-music.html

I’ll write to you soon

Peace, Love, Smile

-BeaSays09

I won’t be using these Social Medias until 2018:

Fb (the last name needs to be changed)

IG: again, the profile name needs to be changed

Snapchat!: I miss the filters

Twitter: HHHEEEYYYYY

My first two blog posts:

https://beatravels.wordpress.com

https://beyatravels.wordpress.com

Youtube:

Vlogs:Bea Hernandez Arcilla

Main: BeaSays09

I also am posting an email address for suggestions of future blog posts:

beasays09@gmail.com