I believe how amazing that I have this chapter of my daily devotional on this day. I’m amazed how The Lord has a plan for a better time and a better place in life. I lost all pag-asa (hope) last year. I honestly did not know what to do with life since I was in my lowest point of depression.
This time was where I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder, which is why I am also saying my story to the public to share my devotional about God’s love and care.
Well, my test with positivity came when I figured out about my hurt story in 2016 on 1/4/2017. After that realization, my true test in God happened and discovered that prayer does do marvelous things.
I realized that I was never alone in my journey with college in January 2017. I’m thankful for the people that helped me throughout my darkest hours. Thank you for the support and care for this Filipina from Guam.
Don’t get me wrong… I ❤ the City of Brotherly L.O.V.E., but life happens and the real world comes at me. Coming to Philly at 18 was a whole new world. Yes, I lived in Philly as a toddler, and visited many times throughout the years, but everything felt so fresh. I ❤ the opportunities and events that started literally the first month of college in 2015. I was able to work two jobs at the end of 2016. YAY! #hopeinthelord
What I am trying to say that The Lord secretly showed me that I needed to take 2017 off from school. Relax. Clear my head. Explore different places like Laguna Batangas and El Nido, Palawan, Philippines while enjoying Guam in a whole different level without being in school.
I am healing Physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.
You want to know why I am writing this post?
Well, I wanted to share how I am telling my depressive side of this year to be content. My heart was filled with God's love , which made my whole January and February decisions even more soothing since I had people help me.
Okay, I keep telling myself at every minute to be content. Why?
Because when I was 18 I told myself that I did not want to be a wallflower anymore. I wanted to have a big group of friends, get to know people, show people the island of Guam to Blue and Gold University and have the college life that others had… Guess what? I learned that real life did not happen the way I wanted it to be, which lead to my homesickness and depression and racing thoughts my first semester of college… Then… 2016 happened with my unaware manic episode then my depression episode last Fall. My denial mania happened Spring 2017 with a middle in my mood of being depressed and being manic. Does that makes sense?
Speaking of Fall!
First Pic: Fall 2015 with my first time in a pumpkin patch in New Jersey
Second Pic: Fall in Philadelphia 2016
Third Pic: Fall on Guam. I get to wear summer clothes and zorries this Fall. So many delish Fall and pumpkin treats around island.
I can’t believe I have been reading the Book of Psalms for 139 days. amazing!I remember memorizing the chapter during my Senior year of HS in AP Psychology.
I remember a peer and Blue and Gold University having Psalm 139:4 on their IG info box. I was amazed with the content of this specific verse.
I wanted to write that on the blog because God knows why my body shape is the way it is. I was born to, how do I say this, have curves. I gained so much weight when I was in the motherland this year that my insecurities increased, but I know that I was given this figure for a reason.
Oh. this one and not being content go hand in hand with my life. I have also learned that this is MY journey in life. Everyone has their own struggles and journeys in life that comparison and jealousy is not worth it. It’s easy for me to compare myself and get jealous of my peers going to school and many of them being on their third year of college. I had to accept that I won’t be graduating in 2019 after four years of college. Nope. God had a better plan.
I honestly pray for everyone that I have encountered in my life. I also pray for people that read my blog as a way to spread the Word of God. Yes, I know I had many curse words in my February posts, which I deleted, but I feel like I am a better person than I was back in February 2017 with leaving Philadelphia for my recovery.
I’ll write to you soon!
Peace, Love, Smile
“Learn To Let Go” -Kesha
“In Case You Didn’t Know”- Brett Young Cover by Maoli
this cover is played on the radio here on Guam.
“God, Your Mama and Me” -Florida Georgia Line ft. Backstreet Boys
The music video is just #relationshipgoals #mayforeverba?
“emote emote pag may time yung puso ko”
Many more posts to come!
I won’t be using these Social Medias until 2018:
Fb (the last name needs to be changed)
IG: again, the profile name needs to be changed
Snapchat!: I miss the filters
My first two blog posts:
Vlogs:Bea Hernandez Arcilla
I also am posting an email address for suggestions of future blog posts: